THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
