i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
