I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
