Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
