You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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