whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
