How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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