Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Are we in a gay sports bar?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
