Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
