eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
