He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
