Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
