It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Everclear isn't food dammit
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
