after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Randomize
