So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
