4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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