Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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