I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
