You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
