i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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