She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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