Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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