I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
