a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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