The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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