how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
