omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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