so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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