Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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