yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
