Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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