I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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