Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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