the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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