either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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