is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
