White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
