i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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