Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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