i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
