I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
