So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
