No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you win again, gameday.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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