she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
