I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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