yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
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She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
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She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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