i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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