I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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