so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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