so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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