My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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