It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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