Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down

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(502): View more from Kentucky

people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina

(513): View more from Ohio

Post that event on your timeline

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(317): View more from Indiana

Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

You did. Then gave it to me.

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