Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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