Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
