Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm both gender and math confused
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
