I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize