So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
