I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
