i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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