its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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