Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
