He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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