Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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