Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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