So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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